I wish i was in the wii world.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He shit in the fireplace
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
