Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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