Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
