she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
