I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
