shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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