do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
