he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
