Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
