my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
