My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
The Olympian is in my bed
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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