'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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