You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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