i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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