Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
