I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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