So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
