The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
