Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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