if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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