we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
The feeling are messing with the penis
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
