my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
