that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
