So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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