Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
