He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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