I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Who put my cat in the fridge?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
