Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
