I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
