I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
