You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
