after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
