You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
