just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
