Soap is not a condiment
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
