so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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