Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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