jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
