We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
