You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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