mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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