I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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