it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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