question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
you're hired as official boob wrangler
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
