I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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