It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
