Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
