I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
