Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
