You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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