I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Let's paint friendship bongs
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
